The Ultimate Checklist for
Surviving Financial Devastation
before/during/after Divorce

Going through a divorce with children adds another layer of complexity, requiring both emotional and financial planning.

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Here’s a comprehensive list of things a person with children should do after a divorce:

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1. Legal & Custody Matters

• Whenever possible, use a Certified Divorce Coach/Mediator. This is especially important when children are involved.

• Review and understand the custody agreement and parenting plan.

• Ensure compliance with all court orders related to child support and custody.

• Keep records of all custody schedules, expenses, and communications with your ex-spouse.

• Update or establish a co-parenting communication plan (using apps like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents).

• Seek legal advice if there are any disputes or modifications needed in the custody arrangement.

 

2. Financial Adjustments

• Take inventory of all assets and liabilities during the marriage before going to a mediator.

• Set up a new budget based on your post-divorce income and expenses. Work with a Personal Finance Coach to set up for success on a single income, manage cash flow, identify opportunities of other income streams, and ensure a secure financial future.

• Ensure child support payments (either receiving or paying) are being processed correctly.

• Open or adjust bank accounts to reflect your new financial situation.

• Update beneficiary information on life insurance policies, retirement accounts, and wills.

• Start or build an emergency fund for unexpected child-related expenses.

 

3. Housing & Living Arrangements

• If you own real estate, talk with a Certified Divorce Mortgage Lender to determine the best way to divide the asset.

• Ensure your home environment is stable and suitable for your children.

• If moving, consider school districts, support systems, and proximity to your co-parent.

 

4. Emotional & Mental Well-being

• Reassure your children that both parents love them and that they are not to blame for the divorce.

• Encourage open discussions about their feelings and emotions.

• Maintain consistency with routines to create a sense of stability.

• Consider therapy or counseling for your children if they show signs of distress.

• Take care of your own emotional health so you can support your children effectively.

 

5. Education & Childcare

• Inform teachers and school counselors about the divorce to ensure support for your child.

• Arrange after-school care or childcare if your work schedule has changed.

• Keep up with school activities and parent-teacher meetings to stay involved.

• Update your child’s school and medical records with your new address if necessary.

 

6. Co-Parenting & Communication

• Keep interactions with your ex-spouse focused on the well-being of the children.

• Set clear expectations for schedules, holidays, and important events.

• Encourage a positive relationship between your children and your ex-spouse.

• Avoid speaking negatively about your ex in front of your kids.

 

7. Legal & Medical Updates

• Update health insurance plans and ensure your child’s coverage is active.

• Make sure both parents have access to medical records and are informed about doctor’s appointments.

• Discuss future medical decisions and responsibilities with your co-parent.

 

8. Future Planning

• Set up or update a will and establish guardianship plans in case of an emergency.

• Start planning for your child’s future education (e.g., college savings accounts, 529 plans).

• Consider meeting with a personal finance coach and financial planner to ensure long-term stability for you and your children.

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9. Social & Support System

• Surround yourself and your children with a strong support network (friends, family, support groups).

• Encourage your kids to stay connected with extended family members from both sides.

• Seek out local or online support groups for single parents.

 

10. Self-Care & Personal Growth

This is listed last but certainly not least! It is especially important for moms who generally prioritize others' needs over their own.

• Get up an hour before the kids: exercise, journal, and meditate before tackling the day.

• End each day by listing three things that went well and one thing to improve. Be kind to yourself. No one is perfect.

• Find time for yourself to recharge, whether through hobbies, exercise, or personal development.

• Set new personal and professional goals for your future.

 

Stay positive and patient—adjusting to a new normal takes time, but with the right steps, you and your children can thrive.

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Also, life after divorce is an adjustment; people will have opinions and share them. Focus on what you think is the best thing for you and your family moving forward. No one else walks in your shoes, and many won’t understand.​